I’ve talked about Vicki before. She is the woman that Bill and I would have married, if triad marriages were legal. In theory, we could have created a marriage-like situation with her - but - it wouldn’t have been fair to her.
In the end, she left us. She has since married a good man. She has a son. We don’t see her any more - haven’t spoken in years. It had to be that way. We needed a clean break. It would have too painful any other way.
When we broke up, we were in love as three couples and as a triad. There are things that we would have needed to work out - had we married - but the most basic issue was insoluble. We could not be a family. We couldn’t live together as husband and wives - and for several reasons, we couldn’t pretend to be anything less.
Vicki was a compliment to us in some ways and a challenge in others. She and I intimidated each other, and each of us thought the other was crazy to be envious.
Where I’m a size 20 voluptuous Italian, she is a size 4 - petite, lady-like and very Anglo-Saxon. She could buy any high-end fashion off-the-rack and wear it home - as if all clothes were designed specifically for her.
And yet, she was friendly, open, loving, and modest without pretense. She had her faults, but as with my husband, I won’t focus on them.
She was bi. Like me, she preferred men and needed a man in her life, but was able to love and make love to a woman. In fact, she and I got physical before she and Bill did. It took her a while before she could be comfortable sleeping with another woman’s husband - even with me beside her.
Vicki was less of a feminist that I am, more comfortable being a traditional wife - submissive, but strong and supportive - very much an “on her back looking up adoringly” kind of gal.
She had a career in finance but was more than comfortable working part from home and being a full-time mom. (When we knew her, we didn’t yet know of Bill’s infertility).
Vicki could fake an orgasm that would put Meg Ryan to shame, and afterward wrap her legs around one of our heads until she got the real thing. That was one of the things that intimidated me. When Bill fucked her, the look of pleasure in his eyes is something I can’t create without feeling like a whore. She could do it and look like a young Nancy Reagan.
At the same time, she felt like a rookie around me. As she described it: “Bill ‘makes love’ to me. He *nails* you.”
Bill loved it. He often told both of us to not try to be the other. Now that she’s gone, he sometimes asks me to be her. I do my best, but it’s not even close.
When she and I made love - wow - it was exactly the way I like it - a mind-blowing mutual gift of pleasure with my best friend.
That’s what we were, in the end, best friends who fell in love.
This evening, Bill and I cried together as we remembered her, wishing she were with us, wishing the world wasn’t so narrow-minded.
A wonderful description of people in love.
It is hard for me to imagine a woman who has the honor and the assurity [is that a word?] to tell the world how much she loves and admires the woman who can make love with her husband, give her husband the comforting that she can not herself give him.
GP
October 20, 2007 @ 1:37 pm>It is hard for me to imagine a woman who has the honor
>and the assurity [is that a word?] to tell the world
>how much she loves and admires the woman who can make
>love with her husband, give her husband the comforting
>that she can not herself give him.
>GP
Thank you!
Yes, it is very difficult in some ways to watch my husband lose himself in the arms of another woman and see her skillfully and lovingly satisfy a part of him that I can’t reach.
But, she wasn’t just a friend and lover to him. She was both to me too. Plus, she was very conscious of the potential for jealousy. She and I made love to each other at times to soothe those feelings.
As much as anything, my view of this is an exercise in realism. I can’t be all things to my husband. For example, one woman cannot be both slim and voluptuous.
If a person can only have one spouse, that means that they have to either do without or go outside the marriage to sometimes get a taste of the “other”. I want him to enjoy life and not have to do without.
Actually, I want that for myself too.
With Vicki, we would have had a lot of our contradictory needs within our three-way marriage - along with a great and dear friend and lover.
As it stands, we both occasionally have lovers outside out marriage - both as part of friendship and to sometimes experience the joy of the paths not taken.
October 21, 2007 @ 11:22 pmI suppose that is what might be called an “open” marriage; but with Vickie, as she was shared by both you and your husband, a very closed circle. Do I make any sense with that thought.
Reading some of your stories and your extended blog, and trying to separate fact from fiction - as you suggest, it appears to me that you and your husband share a complete marriage relationship. With that said, surprised that you occasionally need to have another lover. Have you now experienced “… the paths not taken ..” with your husband in the arms of another man, or woman?
I am entrigued!!!
October 22, 2007 @ 7:58 pm>I suppose that is what might be called an “open”
>marriage; but with Vickie, as she was shared by both
>you and your husband, a very closed circle. Do I make
>any sense with that thought.
Well, my husband and I have had a relatively open marriage since the beginning. We have had physical relationships with others, sometimes individually and sometimes together. But it only happens every once in a while - maybe once or twice every couple of years or so.
>Reading some of your stories and your extended blog,
>and trying to separate fact from fiction - as you
>suggest, it appears to me that you and your husband
>share a complete marriage relationship. With that said,
>surprised that you occasionally need to have another >lover.
For us, sex can be an expression of intimate friendship. More often than not, it is *we* (as a couple) who are having sex with a friend rather than one of us individually - but we have done that too.
No matter how complete a marriage is, I think it’s important to have some variety in life *and* I don’t think sex should be limited to within the marriage.
>Have you now experienced “… the paths not
>taken ..” with your husband in the arms of another man,
>or woman?
>
>I am intrigued!!!
When we have done three-ways, it has been slightly more often with another woman, largely because Bill isn’t bi but I am. A couple of times, he and a friend have given me an MMF threesome as a birthday present.
There is a particularly memorable time when my husband *gently* held my hands above my head while a male friend of ours took my slacks and panties off and then went down on me and tickled me.
I resisted a little to give “Sam” the playful feeling that he and my husband were gang-ravishing me - although the smile on my face and my melodramatic tone of voice made it clear that I was a willing participant.
It was one of the few times that we have let someone see a glimpse of our D/s side. When Sam asked Bill if he could fuck me, Bill said ‘yes’ without looking at me or asking me. It was absolutely wild!
But then Sam said that he was a virgin and we immediately dropped the pretense of me being held down. Bill and I both felt that a first time should be tender and vanilla rather than kinky. We slowed down and Sam and I actually “made love” rather than just fucking.
That was also very memorable.
October 23, 2007 @ 1:35 pmAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
It is so very nice to meet a “naughty” girl who is, a heart, a warm, loving lady. Sam must still be in heaven.
I haven’t been as open in marriage as you and hubby; could be that I am too closed in my thoughts and actions. The question now is, “… what have I missed in life? ..”. Some day I may finally grow up.
October 23, 2007 @ 3:10 pm