Parts one and two of my “Hairbrush” series have been already up for more than a week. They’ve had lots of views and lots of good votes, but no comments - none. People are enjoying the stories, but no one is sending me emails telling me about their enjoyment.
It’s painful. I need to hear from my readers. I want that contact, to know how I’m affecting them.
Maybe it’s difficult for people to tell me what they think, for fear that I might be offended by their enjoyment of something so painful and personal. But I need the feedback.
Please know that it’s OK to get off on these stories. My husband does and so do I. Yes, I masturbate to memories of my childhood spankings and the terror they inflicted on me. Yes, I stroke my husband off to those same memories. It turns me on to think about them and it turns him on - so it’s OK if the stories turn you on too.
I need feedback in order to be able to deal with my own shame. It doesn’t bother me that people are getting off thinking about what I’ve written. It bothers me to think that I’m too kinky, that people might think I’m too perverted.
If that’s how people feel, then I need to know that. I’ll take it. I’ll take anything but silence.
The next few stories are difficult. It’s hard to write this kind of stuff and even harder to post it. If you enjoy them, please send me feedback either here or at the SOL site. Tell me what you liked. Tell me what you hated. Tell me what the stories did to you. Was it a guilty pleasure? Was it good for you?
Part three is about to post. I wrote it as a tease, not so much in the story itself, but in my choice of where to end it. Maybe that will make some folks frustrated enough to tell me how they feel. Maybe they will admit that they want me to post the next part.
Maybe some people will close their eyes and fantasize about spanking me as a punishment for teasing. I would enjoy hearing about that.
Yeah, I’m begging, but I’m that desperate.
Angela,
This series is cause for much thought, and rememberances - recollections - of times past.
You helped me realise why I was NOT able to spank my children. What goes around need NOT come around; a break in the chain can be made.
GP
October 3, 2007 @ 5:06 pmHi Angela,
It has taken me a long time to be able to write this, but you have helped me to exorcise some of my own demons. I too remember the sheer terror I experienced when threatened with a spanking, and no it wasn’t anything like you experienced. These were just simple over the lap, bare-bottomed handspankings, but I still can’t see or hear the words “spank, bare bottom, naughty girl” without a shiver going through me. Thank you for helping me understand I’m not alone in these feelings.
October 5, 2007 @ 11:37 amThank you, Pam.
I’m convinced that “simple, bare-bottomed hand-spankings” are a lot more powerful and traumatic than people give them credit for.
This is especially true with young children and with parents who use “terror”. By “terror” I mean the fear and mind games and anger that accompany a spanking.
Young children have no perspective. They don’t have the feeling of “I’ve been through worse, I can survive.” For most young children, a spanking *is* the worst, most traumatic experience of their lives.
It is the closest they have ever come to facing death (and a child who has come *closer* to death than that would have even bigger problems).
Perhaps there is a kind of spanking that doesn’t terrify a child - doesn’t send them into a personal Hell - but I didn’t experience any of those kind.
And I can’t put myself back into childhood to know if it would be different.
October 5, 2007 @ 11:17 pm